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Archives: RinkLympics

10/5/00

Why should Sydney, Australia, have all the fun? We can hold Olympic events, too.

RinkChat: The chat room topic has been changed to 'RinkLympics �o�o�' by Issachar.
* Issachar stretches
* Issachar trains for the Rinkathalon.
Ayako: We'll feature chess in the RinkOlympics first.
Ferrick: Are those like the Laffalympics?
* Ticia stretchesFerrick!
Ticia: Oops.
* Ticia stretches.
* Issachar stretches Ferrick, too.
Ayako: Let's ALL stretch Ferrick!
* Sakura stretches Ferrick.
* Ayako stretches Ferrick onto a rack.
* Ferrick is all bent out of shape.
* Nyperold stretches the limits of reality.
* Ferrick stretches the truth.
Ayako: (LOL...This reminds me of one time my brother was visiting my dad, and brought his rabbits in a cage. When rabbits lie down, they look a lot longer, because when standing, they're kind of bunched up. My sister, observing this, said, "Hey look! They stretch!" My brother got really worried for a second before he came over and saw what she meant. :-)
* Issachar limbers up.
* Help will be an athleat from Quak_Mus, in the corn stalk javalinn.
RinkChat: User Help has been labeled 'Quak_Mus, Corn Stalker' by Help.
* Help lands with a off.
* Ticia lands with a on
Help: off as in off, as in groan
Ticia: oof?
Issachar: Ok, I think LeapFrog should definitely be a RinkOlympic event.
Ticia: yes! LeapFrog RULES!
* Issachar and Ticia form a LeapFrog team.
Ticia: woohoo, Iss!
* Ticia high fives Issachar
* Ayako and Jannette form an opposing LeapFrog team!
* Ticia will be from Ing-morbel
RinkChat: User Ticia has been labeled 'Ing-morbel; Leap Fro' by Ticia.
* Issachar ROFL's at Ticia's label. "LeapFro"!!!
Jannette: My best event is base-12 math
* Issachar complains about the uniforms distributed by his and Ticia's corporate sponsor.
Ticia: I think we should have some opening ceremonies or something
Ferrick: Ok. Have we taken the RinkOlympics oath, yet?
Ferrick: cuz, if so, and I missed it, I can cheat.
Ticia: is there an oath?
Issachar: Ferrick: Oh! No, we haven't -- thanks for the reminder!
* Issachar recites the oath.
* Ferrick raises his right foot.
Ticia: "I, Ticia, do solemly swear, not to play fairly, or lose at anything"
Help: I Help, somemly swaer, not to kill anyone here, and not to cheat"
Ticia: "Furthermore, I will do all I can to make sure that the other team not only looses, but that they do it in a spectacular manor, befitting the LOSERS that they are. Because I RULE"
Jannette: I, as a Rinklympic competitor, do hereby swear to try to not be an embarrassment to our nations...
Ticia: "and in conclusion, I will try not to do anything disgusting, such as pick my nose, or any other body part, while on camera"
* Sakura recites the oath... whatever that may be...
* Ayako recites a Shakespearean monologue.
* Jannette recites "jabberwocky"
Ferrick: Repeat after me.
* Ferrick orders every competitor to raise their right foot.
* Sakura raises her right foot.
* Jannette raises her right foot
* Help raisees his left foot.
* Issachar raises his right foot as solemnly as he can manage.
* Randy raises his right foot too...
* Ayako raises Sakura's right foot.
Ferrick: "We, as RinkLympic competitors."
Sakura: "We, as RinkLympic competitors."
Issachar: "We, as Rink -- whoaaa -- Lympic competitors ..."
Ayako: "We, as disparate identites of the same person, competing in the RinkLympics..."
Ferrick: "Do halfheartedly swear to bring about a sense of well being and humor to the events at hand."
Jannette: "Do halfheartedly swear to bring about a sense of well being and humor to the events at hand."
Sakura: "Do halfheartedly swear to bring about a sense of well being and humor to the events at hand."
Ayako: ...What Sakura said.
Randy: Yeah, what they said...
Issachar: "Do halfheartedly swear to briiiIIIIiinnn---WHOAAAAA!!!"
Help: "We, as RinkLympic competitors."
* Issachar crashes sideways into Help.
Help: You BUM!
Issachar: Man, why didn't you CATCH me???!!
Help: I'll break every bo-- Ameh. Are you all right?
* Issachar kicks dust on Help's brand new track shoes.
Ferrick: "We will act with nonchalance when faced with difficult situations."
Sakura: "We will act with nonchalance when faced with difficult situations."
Ferrick: "We will perform with abandon when large cash prizes and food are at stake."
Sakura: "We will perform with abandon when large cash prizes and food are at stake."
Sakura: Am I the only one doing this?
Help: "Do halfheartedly swear to bring about a sense of well being and humor to the events at hand."
Randy: Can I light the torch now?
Ferrick: "And we promise to brush after every meal but tell the dentist that we floss, too, at least twice a year."
Sakura: "And we promise to brush after every meal, but tell the dentist that we floss--Wha!?"
* Issachar promises all that stuff that Ferrick just said.
Ferrick: psst, Randy, light the torch.
* Randy lights the torch, and burns his hand...
* Jannette readies fire extinguisher
* Help gets ready to chear.
Help: Yya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randy: owww!!!1
* Ferrick releases the flock of prairie dogs, the international symbol of indifference.
Randy: Darn, now I can't compete in my best event...poking people for fun
* Ferrick gets ready for the 100 yard fridge dash.
* Jannette readies herself for the 30m fall
* Ferrick doesn't want to overdo it and not be ready for the Rhythmic Can Smash.
Help: What's the fist event?
Ticia: beating people with our fists, of course
Ticia: but *first*...Leapfrog!
* Issachar hunkers down in the squatting position to begin the LeapFro event.
* Jannette gets on her frog
* Issachar , with one hand, steadies his 'fro wig.
* Ticia waits for the signal to begin the LeapFrog competion
* Randy jumps over Moonstar
* Sakura gives the signal.
Randy: Ooops
Issachar: Ticia! Hurry!!!
* Ticia JUMPS over Issachar!
Ellmyruh has entered.
* Ferrick grabs Elly as his partner.
* Ferrick hurdles Ell.
* Ayako jumps over Jannette!
* Help sits on the sidelines, while making rude remarks.
* Issachar plants his palms on Ticia's back and vaults over her.
* Moonstar jumps over Randy.
* Ticia JUMPS over Issachar, accidently kicking him in the head!
Issachar: Hey! My 'fro came off!
Issachar: We're gonna lose points for that!
* Randy then leaps over Ferrick
* Jannette jumps over Ayako
Ferrick: Hurry Ell, they're winning.
* Ayako leaps over Jannette but stumbles on the fall! Points taken off!
* Issachar hurriedly replaces his 'fro wig on his head and jumps over Ticia, tweaking her ear in the process.
* Randy then leaps into the pool
* Ferrick vaults over Randy.
* Ticia somersaults over Issachar, just for show
Issachar: Woohoo!!!
Help: Boo! Can't you people jump! Thats not how you do it! Why back in my day we leaped frogged to school every day for 14 miles. In the snow at that!
* Ellmyruh leaps over a ghost (perfectly, of course).
* Jannette does a handspring over Ayako, doing a perfect dismount
* Sakura is completely confused and sits watching until you guys decide it's over.
* Issachar attempts to cartwheel over Ticia but has never really been that good at cartwheeling and kind of ends up on his back.
* Ferrick jumps over...Hey, what's that?
Ellmyruh: A frog!
* Ferrick sees a dime on the ground and scampers over to it to pick it up.
* Ticia LEAPS over Issachar, waving to the crowd
* Ayako does a cartwheel, with her hands placed on Jannette's back!
* Jannette eats dirt
* Issachar gets up and LEAPS over Ticia, hanging onto his 'fro with one hand.
* Randy jumps out of the pool and clears Ticia, making him in the lead for style and distance...
Issachar: There's the finish line!
* Ticia and Issachar are almost to the finish line
* Ellmyruh successfully stands on one leg for 3.89 seconds!
Help: BOO! Bah! Come on! You've been traing for 5 minutes just to do this lame stuff?1
* Ticia POINGS over Issachar, in true Kiki fashion
* Ayako accidentally faces the wrong way when squatting for Jannette to leap over her and gets kicked in the face.
* Ferrick runs to the finish line and puts a metal bar up instead of the tape.
* Ayako is knocked silly.
* Randy jumps close to the finish line and bangs his head on the wall...
* Ferrick replaces the tape with a record.
* Sakura disqualifies Ferrick.
* Jannette jumps over Ayako, who is still dazed...
Randy: dang it!
Ticia: come on, Issachar! Hurry UP!
* Issachar smacks into the metal bar, flips over it, swings around it a few times, soars into the air and plants his feet firmly on the ground, except for a few small steps backward.
* Ferrick deducts a tenth of point from Issachar's score.
* Jannette pauses to pick up some of Ayako's teeth off the ground
* Ticia does a quadruple flip from the bar, landing on Issachar's shoulders!
Issachar: Tada!!!!!!
* Ellmyruh wonders if we've done the drug testing yet.
Help: Geeze! Hurry up!
* Randy jumps over what he thought was Ayako but was really Sakura all along.
* Jannette jumps over her imaginary friend to the finish line...
Ferrick: C'mon Ell, one big jump!
* Ayako , dazed, wanders off and falls into the Cheez Whiz pool (for the Cheez Whiz fight later, of course).
* Issachar high-fives Ticia, his ruling LeapFro pard!
* Ellmyruh JUUUUMPS!
TheCrowd has entered.
* TheCrowd goes wild
* Ayako gets covered in gloppy Cheez Whiz.
* Help paces like a lion, waiting for his main event. The corn stalk javalinn.
* Ferrick watches Ell soar over him and past the finish line!
* Ellmyruh snags Ferrick on her way over and they both land gracefully.
* Ticia gets down from Iss's shoulders
* Ticia hopes they get the gold.
* Ferrick and Ellyruh head for the drug testing tent.
* Randy is knocked out of the game, since they found cheez doodles in his blood stream...
* Ferrick passes the test despite a high level of Little Debbie cakes and Moon Pies in his system.
* Moonstar passes the test after a debate over whether Pixy Stix are legal.
* Ferrick plays to TheCrowd.
* TheCrowd cheers
* TheCrowd has been given a @-`-,--`,--`-,-- by Randy.
Help: Waits next on the ajenda?
* Sakura shrugs. What is next?
* Help hopes its not a spelling bee.
* Issachar wants to see Jannette perform in the 30m fall.
RinkChat: User Jannette has been labeled '30m fall' by Jannette.
Ferrick: I think it is the Leaf Rake.
Issachar: Oo! The Leaf Rake!
* Help grabs a GIGANTO rake.
Issachar: Ticia! Which of us is raking and which is jumping into the pile of leaves?
Ticia: ummm...I'll rake!
Issachar: Okay!
* Ferrick takes his Rake from his rake cozy.
* Ayako has recovered her senses, and gets out of the Cheez Whiz pool.
* Ferrick rakes. rake rake rake
* Jannette rakes wildly
* Ticia Rakes Rakes Rakes
* Ferrick can't see with all the leaves flying around!
* Sakura has no partner and will officiate.
* Issachar waits for his team's pile to reach the required 15-foot height.
* Sakura hasn't given the signal yet, but oh well.
* Ticia Rakes Rakes Rakes some more
Randy: YES!
* Ticia is starting to get tired
* Ayako heads to the showers. This Cheez Whiz stuff is messy.
Issachar: We're up to 9 feet! Hurry!!
* Ferrick puts Ayako under the pile to make the pile taller.
* Sakura disqualifies Ferrick again.
* Ferrick throws the Cheez Whiz encrusted, leaf covered Ayako at Sakura.
* Jannette rakes even faster...
* Issachar helpfully points out leaves that Ticia hasn't gotten to yet.
* Help rakes liek the wind, while meanly kicking everyone els's piles.
Help: WAHAHAHAHA!
* Ticia RAKES AND RAKES AND RAKESAND RAKESAND RAKESAND RAKES
* Randy isn't in the rake event...he hates house work
Issachar: 13 feet! Almost there!
* Ellmyruh takes a flying leap off the roof of the drug testing tent and lands in the pile of leaves.
Issachar: 14 ..... 15!!! GIMME THE RAKE!!!
Ticia: AND RAKESAND RAKESAND RAKESAND RAKESAND RAKES
* Help stomps on Ticia's pile.
Help: 10 feet!
* Ticia stabs Help with her rake
* Help falls over onto his pile, pushing it up to 11 feet.
* Ayako heads to the showers AGAIN, since she was put under a leaf pile. She now has leaves sticking to her Cheez Whiz.
* Ellmyruh thinks these leaves are fun! She rolls down the leaf mound and then tries to climb back up.
* Ferrick hangs his head in defeat.
* Issachar pries the rake from Ticia's exhausted fingers, runs down the track, and uses the rake to vault into the air!
* Issachar somersaults and lands in a magnificent spread-eagle bellyflop smack in the center of the pile!
Ticia: AND RAKESAND RAKESAND RAKESAND RAKESAND RAKES
Ticia: oh, wait, what have I been raking with?
Issachar: Ticia! Stop raking with your hands!
Ticia: sorry, I was really getting into it
* Ellmyruh , who had just climbed up the pile, is landed on by Iss.
Issachar: Ellie! What are you doing in OUR pile of leaves?
Ellmyruh: Rmpf bf oof
* Help wonders if he'll get any medical assistence.
* Ferrick gives Ticia some bandages for her hands.
* Ticia sobs with exhaustion
* Ayako makes the discovery that jelly comes out of the showerheads, not water.
* Help yank Ticia's rake out of his back and continues to rake.
* Ferrick goes and sits in his hammock, ignoring the leaves.
* Ayako is now covered in jelly, Cheez Whiz, and leaves.
* Ellmyruh is very flat now.
* Issachar hangs Ticia's CHOCOLATE medal with gold foil around her neck.
Ticia: YAY!!!!
* Ayako heads to the sinks.
* Ayako turns the sinks on and sticks her head under, but chocolate pudding comes out!
* Sakura gives Ayako water to wash with.
Sakura: Clean water.
* Ayako washes off the Cheez Whiz, jelly, chocolate pudding, and leaves.
* Ayako is now wet, but clean.
Ferrick: What is next?
Randy: Ok, when is the poking people event?
* Ticia starts poking people randomly
Ferrick: *hey*
* Ticia has been poked back by Ellmyruh.
Ayako: (The Women's Poking People Event would be called Poker, of course.)
* "poking is fun!" is said by Ticia.
* Ferrick keeps poking himself.
Help: The Cornstalk Javalinn is next.
* Randy runs and pokes everyone with his bad hand, which he hopes the judges will give him extra points for...
* Issachar isn't very good at the poking people event.
Issachar: I tend to kind of just "tap". It isn't a good, full, poke, and the judges don't like that.
* Randy pokes and pokes till he can't poke no more...
RinkChat: User Ticia has been labeled 'Poker' by Ticia.
* Ticia pokes Issachar in the eye
Issachar: AAaaugh!!
* Ayako pokes Issachar in the ribs.
Issachar: Hehehe!!
* Help gpes for Iss's ribs.
Issachar: Whoohoohoohoo!!!!
Help: WAHAHAHA!
Issachar: My word!
Ayako: GANG UP ON ISSACHAR!
* Moonstar pokes Sakura in the eyes.
* Sakura is blinded.
* Ticia pokes Iss in the ribs!
* Issachar RUNS.
* Nyperold doesn't poke, mon.
* Sakura pokes Tsuki in the neck.
* Ayako pokes Issachar in the back, between the shoulderblades!
* Issachar runs REALLY FAST.
* Ticia TICKLES Issachar!
* Ferrick trained for this event in the Pokenoes
* Ayako lassos Issachar!
* Help latches onto Iss's leg, "Slow down, *gasp* please"
* Ayako pokes the lassoed Issachar behind the knee.
* Issachar goes down in the dirt. OOF!
* Help lets go and is trampled by Ticia.
* Moonstar kills Sakky.
Issachar: FOUL!!! Moonstar just killed someone, and that's against the rules!
Issachar: And Sakura's out, too.
* Sakura has been killed by Moonstar, who has been killed by Sakura.
* Ticia pokes Ellie
Ferrick: Iss is out for getting dirty.
* Issachar scowls and slouches to the locker room.
* Ayako looks around for another poke-target.
* Ayako pokes Sakura, but she's dead.
* Ayako pokes pokes pokes Ticia rapidly for kicking her earlier!
Randy is away.
* Ayako pokes Randy, but he's gone.
Sarya has entered.
Ayako: Aha!
Nyperold: Sarya! Watch out for people poking!
Ayako: Aw, MAN.
* Ellmyruh gets out her Ellzooka...
Issachar: Cool! Bazooka skeet shooting!!!
* Ferrick gets out his Gadzooka.
* Help whips out his pop-gun.
Help: All right. Who wants some?
Ferrick: Ticia and Ell in the Ultimate Poke-Off.
Issachar: I saw Ellie practicing her bazooka skeet shooting at the bottom of the ski ramp at the last Winter RinkLympics. A pretty awesome spectacle, it was.
* Ayako almost goes to take a shower but remembers that jelly comes out, not water.
Ayako: (Who designed those bathrooms, anyhow??)
* Ticia POKES Ellie in the head
Ferrick: Point for Ticia.
* Ellmyruh shoots a poisoned rose at Ticia!
* Ticia dukes.
Ticia: *ducks
Sarya: good duking Ticia!
* Ticia POKES Ellie in the head, a lot
* Ellmyruh ducks and watches Ticia poke air.
Ferrick: Ticia wisely avoids the rose but doesn't get further head poking points.
* Help POPS Sarya!
* Sarya duchesses!
* Ticia POKES Ellie in the ribs
* Ellmyruh giggles but recovers and POKES Ticia with the Ellzooka.
Ticia: OUCH!
* Ticia POKES Ellie, with *two* fingers, in the...nose
* Ellmyruh breathes through her mouth.
* Ferrick declares the Poke event over with a tie.
Ticia: awwwww
Ellmyruh: Yay!
Ticia: I was just about to win!
Ferrick: To decide the winner, Ticia, Ell, pick a number between 1 and 10.
Ticia: 7
Ellmyruh: 6
Ferrick: The number was Negative Pi. Ell wins!!!
Ticia: DARN!
* Ellmyruh celebrates!
Ticia: /kick Ferrick
* Ticia has been given a @-`-,--`,--`-,-- by Ellmyruh.
Ellmyruh: That was a non-poisoned one.
Ticia: sure, uh huh. Like I'm gonna take a rose from a bazooka wielding, rose slashing, cookie baking mad woman
* Ellmyruh doesn't (usually) slash roses.
Ferrick: Ell wins a gold button and Ticia gets the Silver Filling.
RinkChat: User Ticia has been labeled 'loser' by Ticia.
Ellmyruh: How big is this button?
Ferrick: The bronze Baby shoes were won by Edgar, some guy in the sewer.
Issachar: Now we have to listen to the Ellmyruh anthem while she stands on the podium.
Ferrick: If only Sam were here to sing it.
Issachar: Ah, the odium of the podium.
Nyperold: How about the Pledge of Ellie-giance?
* Issachar gets the anthem started.
Issachar: "Ell-my-ruh, ..... Ell-my-ruh, ..... Mah HEAAAART's on fi-ruh, f'r Ell-my-ruh!"
* Sakura yawns and waits for the next event.
Ferrick: A giddy yup, a boom baba boom baba
Issachar: Well, that expressed the dignity and austerity of these Games.
Sakura: Or lack thereof. :-P
* Ellmyruh thinks Iss did an excellent job and gives him a standing ovation.
* Issachar beams with pride and lemon-lime Gatorade.
Ayako: What's the next event? Is it the Cheez Whiz fight? I'm already practiced up for that!
* Ayako eats chocolate chip cookies from her secret stash in her locker to power up for the next event.
* Ayako gots milk, too.
* Ayako licks crumbs off her fingers, and eagerly awaits news of the next event.
Issachar: I guess the Games are over for today. Unless we want to watch the heart-breaking life stories of each of the athletes involved.
* Ferrick overcame the loss of all his internal organs to become what he is today.
* A camera zooms in on Ticia, hard at work, slaving away. A voice over tells the tragic story of how she struggled to make it to these RinkLympic games, only to be defeated at the end by an upstart from California. The camera shows hand made rugs and dolls being made, in order to get the money to come to the games, by Ticia.
* Ticia has been given some California cheese to make up for her loss by Ellmyruh.
* Ellmyruh also gives Ticia some Tillamook cheese from Oregon because that stuff RULES.
Ticia: Cheese! that's better than a medal!
Jannette: WHAT?! No 30m fall?
Ayako: No! We haven't done the Cheez Whiz fight yet!
Issachar: Okay, the Cheez Whiz fight! Brought to you by Cheez Whiz, proud sponsor of the RinkLympic Games!
* Ayako herds everyone over to the Cheez Whiz pool.
* Ayako puts on her goggles.
* Sakura grins evilly at Moonstar and dons the appropriate attire.
Issachar: Cheez Whiz is also the Official Processed Cheese Food of the RinkLympics.
Ayako: Ok, everyone! Into the Cheez Whiz pool for the free-for-all!
RinkChat: The chat room topic has been changed to 'RinkLympics �o�o� Event: Cheez Whiz� fight' by Nyperold.
* Nyperold suits up and dives into the gloopy mess.
* Jannette dives in to the cheezy pool
* Ayako cannonballs into the Cheez Whiz pool.
Wolf has entered.
* Ayako pushes Wolf into the Cheez Whiz pool, getting her fur all cheesy.
Marvin has entered.
* Ferrick pushes the unsuspecting Marvin into the pool of Cheez Whiz.
* Marvin survives
* Ayako pushes the pondering Issachar into the pool.
* Issachar is lost in the vast pool.
Issachar: Quick! Someone conduct a Poolean search for me!
* Ayako takes a big glop of Cheez Whiz and fwaps Nyperold with it.
* Nyperold fwaps Ayako in the stomach with cheese.
* Jannette climbs out of the pool in search of crackers
* Issachar saw some crackers while vacationing in West Virginia a few months ago.
* Moonstar pushes Sakura off shoves her head into the pool again.
Sakura: *hack*
* Ayako puts Cheez Whiz in Nyperold's hair.
* Sakura struggles against Moonstar's grip.
* Marvin pulls Sakura out of the Cheese Whiz
* Moonstar shoves Sakky in deeper.
* Ayako launches a glop of Cheez Whiz at Jannette.
* Nyperold hits Ayako's cheeks with more cheese.
* Djinn gets a thirty pound glob of Cheez Whiz and catapults it high in the air.
* Nyperold wonders if this is head cheese.
* Jannette catches it deftly with a cracker
* Marvin throws a bag of crackers into the pool of Cheese Whiz
* Issachar plays with the judges' scoring terminals and converts everything to imaginary numbers.
* Ayako lobs more Cheez Whiz at Djinn.
* Sakura has been hit with Cheez Whiz by Moonstar, who has been hit with Cheez Whiz by Sakura.
* Ayako dribbles Cheez Whiz into Nyperold's shorts.
* Djinn is pelted with Cheeze Whiz.
* Issachar awards Ayako a score of "eleventy-twelve."
Ayako: Yes! Eleventy-twelve! Beat THAT!
* Jannette further tinkers with the score board, rendering it in base-12
Jannette: Yeah, well, my score is 1A4
* Nyperold pours Cheez Whiz down Ayako's back.
* Ferrick takes a Cheez Whiz. Sick.
* Djinn opens a sack of wet mice.
* Sakura loads a bazooka with Cheez Whiz and knocks over Moonstar's cheesy fortification.
* Marvin dives head first into the Cheese Whiz
* Issachar calls out over the loudspeaker: "Only FIVE MINUTES remaining in this event!!"
* Ayako sticks Cheez Whiz in Nyperold's ear.
* Moonstar knocks over Sakky's wall. They wrestle in the Cheez Whiz.
* Moonstar again pins Sakky face-down and makes sure she can't get up this time.
* Sakura suffocates and dies.
* Sakura has been unkilled by Nyperold.
* Ayako dunks Djinn under the Cheez Whiz.
* Djinn is launched high into the air by the catapult, and falls into the pool.
* Marvin stands up with a mouthful of Cheese Whiz and crackers
* Ayako flings Cheez Whiz into Moonstar's eyes right as she starts to swing.
* Jannette grabs her surf board
* Nyperold SOAKS Ayako with Cheez Whiz.
* Ayako SATURATES Nyperold with Cheez Whiz.
* Marvin builds up a huge wall of Cheese Whiz
* Issachar 's family is strong in the Force. Someone once told him he had the family Joules.
* Issachar can't believe he just said that.
Ayako: ARGH!
* Djinn notes a shark fin cutting though the Cheez Whiz.
Issachar: ONE MINUTE left in the event!
* Ayako flings half the Cheez Whiz in the pool at Issachar.
* Sakura flings the other half at Iss.
* Ayako notes that Issachar is now wearing all the Cheez Whiz.
* Marvin eats all the Cheese Whiz and crakers
Ayako: ...until Marvin ate it.
Marvin: :)
Marvin: Well, that takes care of that event.
* Djinn wonders if Marvin ate the shark.
* Issachar is a Whiz of a Wiz, if ever a Wiz there Wuz.
Issachar: Event's over!!! Time to announce the winners!
Sakura: Well?
Sakura: Who won?
* Issachar doesn't know who the winners are. He isn't a judge.
Jannette: I think because Marvin ate the Cheese Whiz, he wins...
* Jannette climbs up a 30m tower
* Nyperold also climbs up.
Ayako: Jannette: Uh, what do we fall ONTO?
Jannette: the ground, silly
* Djinn falls 30m onto solid rock.
* Marvin wonders if he can get up 30 meters after eating all the Cheese Whiz.
* Sakura climbs up, as does Moonstar. Both glare at each other.
* Marvin gets a forklift to lift him up the 30 meters.
* Ayako climbs up the outside of the tower nimbly, clinging with sheer will.
* Ayako then notices the ladder a few feet to her left.
* Nyperold reaches the top. He looks down.
* Ferrick comes back and appears at the top of the tower.
* Ferrick has his Blankie tied around his neck like a cape.
Issachar: Now, is this the round where we jump simultaneously and race each other to the ground, or the freestyle jump?
* Jannette jumps off the tower, doing a double mid air somersault with a twist
Issachar: I guess it's the freestyle.
* Jannette hits the ground, breaking three ribs and her left tibia.
Issachar: That's gonna leave a mark.
* Marvin falls off and hits the ground. SPLAT!
* Marvin rolls into the pool...
* Ayako gets jostled off the top of the tower by the rest of the crowd.
Ayako: Hey! I wasn't readyyyyyyyyyyyyyy........
* Moonstar falls, does several flips and turns and such, and lands neatly on her feet. She's been taking lessons from Trowa. ^^
* Sakura jumps, slides down the wall, tumbles a bit, and hits the ground. She's not even scratched. She took lessons from Heero. :-P
* Djinn climbs back up the tower and falls 1,181.1023 inches back down.
* Ferrick grabs the edges of his cape and spreads it out like a bat.
* Jannette (slowly) climbs up the tower for another go at it
* Ferrick runs around in circles making jet noises.
* Ayako doesn't move.
* Ferrick heads for the edge with a *WHOOOSH* and hurls himself over the edge with an intense look of concentration.
* Ferrick hurtles at a maddening speed and lands, conveniently, on his parents' couch at the bottom. Once again he has saved the day.
* Marvin goes on a sudden weight loss program and gets out of the pool
* Issachar performs a flawless dive and lands without a scratch. He hopes the judges will not notice that technically, he performed the 30mm fall rather than the 30m fall.
* Jannette jumps again, this time executing a triple flip with a one quarter turn, a semi-roll, and a cherry on top...
* Jannette : ...before hitting the ground, bruising a kidney and puncturing a lung
* Ferrick performs the 3 decimeter fall.
Ferrick: I prefer the 30 meter spring, myself.
Brunnen_G has entered.
Brunnen_G: Hello. Don't let me interrupt. I see there's weirdness going on.
* Ayako remembers that she never got to compete! She quickly climbs the tower, using the ladder this time.
Brunnen_G: Are you doing that thing with the bamboo tower and the vines like those guys do on Pentecost Island?
Ayako: Do they fall off it?
Issachar: Nope, this is the vine-less variety.
Brunnen_G: They jump off it. With vines tied to their feet.
Jannette: What wimps!
Brunnen_G: Oh, OK. So this is more of a "plummet-to-your-DOOM" type event.
Issachar: B_G: Except that in DOOM, you don't take falling damage. So this is even WORSE. :-)
Sakura: Yep. Pretty much.
* Ayako does a graceful swan dive off the tower, and flips over midair to land on her feet, breaking both ankles. Tada!
Ayako: Come, join us!
* Brunnen_G will just watch everybody else plummet to their doom.
* Ayako remembers that her ankles are broken and falls over.
* Jannette climbs tower for one final (gulp!) dive...
* Jannette does a cannonball off the tower
* Jannette hits the ground, suffering a compound fracture of the hip, and a broken collar bone
Brunnen_G: This could never be an Olympic event. Olympic events are simple and harmless fun. Like the cross-country almost-jumping-but-slamming-off-the-horse-into-a-brick-wall and then having the horse fall on you event.
* Djinn creates an android that resembles himself and makes it jump off the tower and explode on impact.
* Issachar thinks Jannette has earned the Chocolate Medal in this event.
* Ayako splints her ankles, and gathers everyone together for the 30m-fall-race-to-the-ground.
* Issachar has been waiting for the 30m race-to-the-ground and eagerly climbs the tower.
* Jannette takes the elevator up the tower, being unable to walk
Ayako: Ok, everyone! On the count of 3, we all jump off together!
* Sakura climbs.
* Moonstar does, too.
Ayako: Ok, ready?
Ayako: One!
* Brunnen_G makes sure not to stand directly underneath to watch the event.
Ayako: Two!
* mamday works the stopwatch
Ayako: Two-and-a-half!
* Issachar jumps from the tower and tightens into a ball for reduced wind resistance.
Issachar: Dangit! False start!
* Ayako jumps, and yells, "THREE!"
* Moonstar jumps off!
* Issachar smacks into the ground.
* Ayako straightens into a dive, with hands pointed downward.
* Sakura jumps off!
* Djinn watches everyone else jump off.
Issachar: No, no, no! It was a false start; we have to start again!
* Jannette jumps
mamday: A world record acceleration of 9.8 m/s2!!!!
* Jannette breaks her wrist
Ayako: Everyone back up on the tower!
* Jannette climbs back up with her teeth
* Sakura floats back up.
* mamday grumbles and resets the stopwatch
* Ayako climbs back up.
* Issachar spits out a few teeth as he climbs back up the tower.
* Brunnen_G hopes those were Issachar's teeth.
* Moonstar climbs back up, unhurt.
* Issachar concentrates on not causing another false start.
Ayako: Brunnen-G, will you do the honors?
* Issachar tenses up.
Brunnen_G: 5...4...33...2...1...3...
* Ayako dives off again!
Jannette: False Start!
* Issachar , startled, loses his balance, waves his arms around wildly, and falls off the tower's edge.
Jannette: Great, now we have to start over.
Issachar: AAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa......
* Nyperold builds a giant trampoline under the projected point of impact.
* Ayako lands on the trampoline, bounces back up, and grabs Issachar on the way down.
Issachar: Yay, Ayako!
* Sakura jumps off!
* Moonstar jumps off!
* Ayako and Issachar both bounce onto the trampoline.
* Sakura lands on the trampoline, bounces off, and pulls it away as Moonstar lands.
* Moonstar lands on the ground and dusts herself off.
* Issachar climbs the tower for the third time.
* mamday gives up on the stopwatch, which has stopped running, and goes back to counting on her fingers
* Ayako decides to take a break. Hmm...this trampoline is comfortable! She stretches out and begins to snooze.
* Nyperold climbs on the trampoline and begins to bounce on it.
* Ayako is bounced up and down.
* Ayako is bounced off the trampoline and sits up, shaking her head.
* Jannette falls in the process, breaking her left calcaneous
* Issachar wanders over to check out the cow-tipping event. Looks like the person in the lead has given the cow a sizeable 23% tip.
Leen has entered.
Leen: YAY!
* Leen kicks her cable modem
Nyperold: Hello.
Help: Hello
Djinn: Hi, Leen!
Leen: Hi!
Issachar: Leen!!!
Leen: Iss!!!
Ellmyruh: LEEN!!!
Leen: ELLY!!!!!
Ticia: LEEEEEENNNN!!!!
Leen: TICIA!!!!!
Ellmyruh: Leen, you missed the RinkLympics.
Leen: AwwwwWWW! :(
* Leen always misses the good stuff
Ayako: Let's hold another event of RinkLympics for Leen!
Ayako: We've already had a poke-a-thon, a Cheez Whiz fight, and the 30m fall.
Help: Alright. We should do Corn Stalk Javalin.
Ayako: Leen: Since it is in your honor, you get to choose the event.
Leen: Dressage!!! :)
Help: Dreesage?
Ayako: Of course!
* Issachar dressages up.
Thanatos: Lovely, I have a wonderful pale steed right here!
Ayako: Ok. Time to hold the Dressage in Honor of Leen!
Washu: What's a dressade, and why can't we just put it on the table?
* Ayako borrows one of her landlord's Arabians.
* Ayako pretends like she knows what she's doing, and saddles up the horse.
Ayako: I think I'll call him Tommy.
Ayako: So we can have Timmy and Tommy.
* Issachar names his horse "Tummy."
* Ayako mounts her horsey Tommy.
Ayako: Ready, Leen?
* Ayako notes that she barely has a clue what dressage is.
Leen: So what do I do?
Ayako: First you tell me in a concise but clear manner what dressage is. :-)
* Leen notes that she only knows the lowest level of dressage test (the one I am doing next weekend).
Washu: Let's make it up.
Leen: http://www.usdf.org/what_is/spotlight.html#compet
Leen: That explains it better than I could
Leen: Go down to Tests
Leen: "Unlike western or English pleasure classes where many horses are in the ring together, dressage competition is performed with only one rider in the arena at a time. Dressage competitors perform a test--a specific pattern of movements and figures designed for specific levels of proficiency."
Ayako: What's a serpentine?
Leen: A serpentine is kinda like a figure 8, but with more loops
Ayako: Ohh. Ok.
Ayako: Ooh, counter canter. I have no idea what it is, but the phrase is cool.
Leen: a counter canter is when you are cantering around the ring (or cicle) on the wrong lead.
Ayako: The...wrong...lead?
Leen: So say you were going clockwise...normally you would want to see the right front leg come forward first.
* Ayako feels kinda dumb.
Leen: In a counter canter you would see the left front leg come forward first.
Leen: But those are upper level movements
Ayako: Oh. Ok, I think I get it.
Ayako: Sorta. :-)
* Leen notes that Timmy does a counter canter sometimes... when he's not SUPPOSED to!
Ayako: Silly Timmy!
Brunnen_G has entered.
Nyperold: What's a decanter?
Brunnen_G: That's when the horse goes backwards.
Ayako: Want to ride dressage in the RinkLympics with us?
Brunnen_G: You're STILL having RinkLympics? Hehe
Nyperold: We even had a logo: �o�o�
* Brunnen_G is all Olympiced out.
* Brunnen_G was so impressed by the ability to finally see the whole thing live that she felt an obligation to watch the whole thing live.
* Brunnen_G now never wants to see Olympics ever again.
Ayako: The WHOLE THING?
Brunnen_G: Well, OK, not the WHOLE THING. Just a LOT of it.
Brunnen_G: I mean, REALLY a lot of it.
* Brunnen_G watched darn near the WHOLE THING of some other extremely boring sports with grim determination, for no particular reason other than that SHE COULD.
Brunnen_G: I watched more TV in two weeks than I normally do in two years, not counting videos.
* Ayako mounts up.
Ayako: Oops, I mounted backward.
* Ayako squirms around awkwardly in the saddle into the right position.
Ayako: Ready to go, Leen?
* Leen is ready!
Ayako: Ok! You go first.
* Leen walks Timmy over to the mounting block. Up she goes!
* Ayako will watch Leen to make sure she knows what to do.
* Brunnen_G automatically reaches for the "record" button, seeing dressage start, and then realises it won't work here.
Leen: Should I do a simple dressage test?
* Leen needs practice with her dressage test anyways
* Leen notices the previous rider halt and salute, and so starts circling Timmy around the ring
* Brunnen_G puts on a CD of "Song Sung Blue" for Leen to ride to
Nyperold: Huh? What's Song Sung Blue?
Brunnen_G: Somebody did a dressage test to that tune in the Grand Prix Special. It was sooooo cool.
Brunnen_G: That horse was really getting *down* to it.
* Leen encourages Timmy past the Judge's booth, as he thinks that is a scary thing
Brunnen_G: If Timmy's anything like the horses *I* used to ride, he thinks *everything* is a scary thing.
* Brunnen_G once had to dismount and lead a trembling, staring horse past a brick. Yes. A brick.
Brunnen_G: Bricks are very scary when you're a horse and you have no brain whatsoever.
* Leen hears the judge blow the whistle and enters the ring at A
* Ayako watches Leen observantly.
Leen: Timmy weaves a little down the center line (What, a straight line? Hahah!) and halts at X.
* Leen notes that Timmy's front feet are squared up...pretty good for Timmy! Leen salutes at the judge and trots on.
* Ayako notices Leen salute, and starts circling Tommy around the ring. She hopes this is the right thing to do.
* Leen notes that you are only supposed to go after the rider salutes at the end of her dressage test.
* Ayako hurriedly takes Tommy out.
* Leen continues with her dressage test.
* Ayako wonders if she'll get points deducted.
* Leen trots towards C and turns left.
* Brunnen_G watches the dressage test avidly.
* Leen continues trotting along the long side past H, E,and K. Leen pushes Timmy into his corners before and after A, goes down the next long side past F, and circles at B.
* Brunnen_G wonders if Timmy is wearing ear hats.
Ellmyruh: Ear hats? How CUTE!
* Leen is not wearing an ear bonnet, because those are not allowed in Dressage. Timmy is sporting a nice dressage saddle and bridle, with a WHITE saddlepad, because her instructor told her that Black is really frowned upon AFTER she already bought the black saddlepad.
Leen: Er, TIMMY is not wearing an Ear Bonnet.
Brunnen_G: LOL LOL
Ellmyruh: LOL!!
* Leen continues along the long side after B to M, then throught he corner, and walks at C.
* Leen gives Timmy a strong half-halt to prepare him for his nice long and low Free Walk through HXF.
* Brunnen_G hears the commentators say stupid and obvious things about Leen and Timmy which interrupt the performance annoyingly.
* Ellmyruh hears Leen's life story.
* Brunnen_G watches the camera cut to a cheering group of spectators EXACTLY at the point where Leen and Timmy are about to do something AWESOME.
* Leen picks up her reins at F and continues to A, where she picks up her trot.
* Leen continues trotting up to E, then circles at E.
* Leen continues trotting along the long side after E, past H, through the corner past C, through another corner, continues trotting to MXK, turns at A, heads down the center line, halts at X, salutes, and lets out a big breath of air.
* Ayako sweatdrops. She doesn't know if she'll remember all this.
* Leen lets Timmy have the reins and walks out of the ring
* Ellmyruh gives Leen a standing ovation.
* Brunnen_G sees Mark Todd over in the crowd weeping at the thought that he will never be able to do dressage as well as Leen just did.
* Brunnen_G watches the entire German team fighting to offer Leen millions of dollars for Timmy
* Leen refuses all offers to buy Timmy
* Ayako hurriedly starts circling Tommy around the ring.
* Leen puts Timmy's new Anti-Sweat sheet on and watches Ayako's ride
* Ayako glances around nervously, then stops at A and salutes. Was that right?
Leen: You almost always halt at X ;-) That's the center of the ring
Brunnen_G: Just go for it. Maybe you'll get extra points for creativity.
Leen: Yeah!
* Ayako gallops through the letters of the alphabet to X, and then halts suddenly. She goes from barely hanging on to shoved up against Tommy's mane.
* Brunnen_G wonders if this is a Calvinball dressage test.
* Ayako salutes.
* Brunnen_G gets Tammy out of his stable and circles him around to wait her turn.
Ayako: (Isn't Tammy a girl's name?)
Brunnen_G: Is it? Oh well. I'm changing it.
* Ayako looks around.
* Brunnen_G sees Ellmyruh in the background, getting Tummy ready.
* Ellmyruh pets Tummy.
Ayako: Um...I guess...I'll go that way.
* Ayako trots over to E, then goes to P, then to AGL.
Brunnen_G: LOL!
Ellmyruh: LOL Ayako
Leen: http://www.ridinghabit.com/guide/geometry/arenas.html That's a pic of an arena with letters
Ayako: Ah! Are we in a small or a large arena?
Ellmyruh: The bigger, the better, right?
Leen: We are in a small arena :)
Leen: Olimpians would actually be in a large arena, because they do a lot more interesting stuff.
* Leen points to some great animations of dressage movements: http://www.ridinghabit.com/guide/animation/index.html
* Ellmyruh shows the animations to Tummy. "Got it, Tummy?"
* Leen wishes that she could do Piaffes and Canter Pirouettes...
* Brunnen_G thinks Leen would need to grow two more legs
* Brunnen_G watches Ayako and Tommy do that ...thing... where the horse's legs go ...like that.
* Brunnen_G is very impressed.
* Leen loves the 1 tempi changes...like skipping on horseback. Leen can't even get Timmy to change once...we go to trot and then change. :)
* Brunnen_G wonders how the horse holds the skipping rope.
Brunnen_G: Gah. I'm such a dork. Of course. Two other horses stand on either side and hold it for you, right?
* Leen sticks her tongue out at BG :-P
Ayako has left.
* Ellmyruh hopes Ayako kicks her computer and not her horse.
Ayako has entered.
* Ayako crashed.
* Brunnen_G is glad Ayako was wearing a helmet, then. And ear hats.
Nyperold: Poor horse.
* Ayako thinks Tommy must be a little stupid, to crash right into the fence like that.
* Ayako notes the judges frowning, and quickly corrects her horse.
* Ellmyruh hopes Tummy gets over this new fear of his left front hoof before it's her turn.
* Nyperold offers horse doovers.
* Ayako does a trot half-pass.
* Nyperold goes long and half-catches it.
* Ayako directs Tommy to kick Nyperold in the stomach.
* Brunnen_G sees that the kick was done with exceptional style and control
* Ayako circles around the arena at a gallop...Whoa, Tommy! WHOA!
* Ayako finally manages to slow Tommy, sweating.
* Ayako isn't sure what to do next, and looks to Leen for help.
Randy has entered.
Randy: Hey there!
Ellmyruh: Hi Randy! Meet my horse, Tummy.
Brunnen_G: And my horse, Tammy.
Randy: Nice...
Ayako: And my horse, Tommy.
Nyperold: And my horse, Doovers.
Wormwood: BOO!
Wormwood: I hope I didn't scare the horses.
* Ayako 's horse Tommy shies at Wormwood's unexpected appearance.
* Ellmyruh note that Tummy is not scared of the monitor or of Wormwood. That is a good thing.
* Ayako is still looking to Leen for help.
Brunnen_G: Make something up, Ayako.
* Ayako rears Tommy up movie-style, and rides to the center of the ring to rescue the dimwit in distress.
* Brunnen_G hears the commentators go WILD!
* Ayako cuts the dimwit in distress free of the ropes he was tied up with, hauls him onto Tommy, and gallops out, after saluting to the judge.
Brunnen_G: AWESOME finale, Ayako!!
Brunnen_G: Uh oh. It's my turn now
Brunnen_G: Encore, Ayako! Encore!
* Leen applauds Ayako YAY!
Ayako has left.
Randy: lol!
* Ellmyruh pats her Tummy.
* Brunnen_G gets on warm fuzzy Tammy to start the dressage test
* Brunnen_G , in the great tradition of NZ international competitors, is disqualified before starting the event
Brunnen_G: I *knew* I shouldn't have borrowed a horse from the Bulgarian team.
* Randy reinstates Brunnen_G, as she is really funny.
Brunnen_G: Oh Ok then.
* Randy likes that he can do that...POWER!
* Brunnen_G rides Tammy into the ring
* Brunnen_G stops at X. Was it X? She's pretty sure it was.
Ayako has entered.
* Ayako crashed again on the way out.
* Brunnen_G accidentally rides into Ayako, who has suddenly reappeared in the ring again.
* Brunnen_G has to wait while the judges send somebody out to scrape bits of Ayako off the sand.
* Ayako and Tommy and the dimwit ride out of the arena, a little dazed. Ayako then chucks the dimwit off Tommy into the dust.
* Brunnen_G makes Tammy hop around on one leg like a seagull
* Brunnen_G sees the camera move away to the "spectator congratulation scene" between Ayako and cats
* Randy sees Brunnen_G and Tammy heade straight for him!
* Randy ducks and covers
* Brunnen_G rides Tammy full tilt into Randy and flyingcats and Akako and Tommy
* Ayako and Tommy go sprawling.
* Ellmyruh sees a flying flyingcats.
* Brunnen_G and the other five continue down the ring in a screaming uncontrolled tangle of arms and legs and tails
* Ellmyruh notes that Tummy is not scared of the whole proceeding. However, his left front hoof is still giving him the willies.
* Brunnen_G manages to separate Tammy out from the mess and does something elaborate and impressive and dressage-like.
* Ayako limps out of the arena, leading Tommy.
* Ayako offers flyingcats a boost up onto Tommy.
* Brunnen_G does a handstand on Tammy's back while controlling him by telepathy alone.
* Randy realizes that he is splattered arond the ring and asks for help...
* Ayako lets go of the lead rope for a moment to tie her shoe. Tommy takes off, with flyingcats holding on for dear life.
* Brunnen_G makes Tammy do a tail-stand and spin around nine times while neighing "The Star Spangled Banner"
* Brunnen_G thinks this looks about as possible as anything *else* you see in Olympic dressage.
Wolf has entered.
Wolf: Hey ho
* Brunnen_G sees Wolf arrive, salutes the judges hurriedly and leaves the ring in the middle of the test.

An abrupt ending, perhaps, but a number of things happened shortly thereafter to distract.

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