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#2

I think you can take over any company if you commandeer enough desk supplies. "Victory Through Desk Supplies" is my new motto. All you do is gradually clean out the desk supply cabinets as they are stocked. The company will eventually be spending so much money on desk supplies, it'll go under. Then you take the huge quantities of desk supplies you've got, sell them, and use the money to buy the company at a bargain price. There should even be enough money left over to get it going again. I don't see how this plan could fail.