I suppose I ought to include at least on Blackadder line. But other than that, you'll have to work them out for yourself:

"Baldrick, you wouldn't know a cunning plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked in front of you singing 'I am a cunning plan'."

Geoff (After having tried to chat up a girl): "She doesn't speak a word of English, I insulted her friend's breasts, she thinks I collect women's ears in a jar and she's leaving the country."
Steve: "Well, you've had worse results."

"Now, none of us have done anything like this before, except for Mike who, as we all know, once stole a tank and tried to invade Paris"

"If you have any problems. I'm a qualified gynocologist. Well, strictly speaking, I'm an amature, but I'm very keen."

"There's such a fine line between stupid and clever"

winter"are these funny out of context?"mute