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Re: Movie-A-Minute for movies I *have* seen.
Posted By: Darien, on host 141.154.160.176
Date: Wednesday, February 13, 2002, at 08:43:01
In Reply To: Movie-A-Minute for movies I haven't seen. posted by Faux Pas on Sunday, February 10, 2002, at 08:05:30:

... But I'll put them here anyway. ;-}

---

FIELD OF DREAMS

SPOOKY WHISPER: (If you build it, he will come!)

KEVIN COSTNER: Huh? Guess it means I should build a baseball diamond. (He DOES)

SPOOKY WHISPER: (Ease his pain)

KEVIN COSTNER: Huh? Guess it means this odd caricature of J.D. Salinger, inexplicably named after Thomas Mann. (It DOES)

JAMES EARL JONES: My God! You're from the sixties! Peace, Love, Dope!

KEVIN COSTNER: Huh? Guess he means marijuana. (It doesn't MATTER)

ACCOUNTANT GUY: Kevin Costner, it was stupid and wasteful for you to plow under all of your corn and spend all of your money to construct a baseball diamond.

KEVIN COSTNER: Huh? Guess that means I have to help you get in touch with your inner child. (He DOES)

DEAD BASEBALL GUY: Hi, I'm your dad. Wanna play catch?

KEVIN COSTNER: Huh? Guess we just had a "moment." (They DID)

---

8MM

(NICHOLAS CAGE is hired by a RICH OLD WOMAN to find out if a SNUFF FILM was REAL)

NICHOLAS CAGE: Angst.

JOACHIM PHOENIX: You dance with the Devil, the Devil doesn't change. The Devil changes you.

NICHOLAS CAGE: Joachim Phoenix, stop ripping off "Batman," quit your job, and put yourself in extreme danger so the villains will have someone to kill and give me a motive for my angsty revenge sequence.

JOACHIM PHOENIX: No way, man. That's too dangerous. (He does ANYWAY) (Dies)

NICHOLAS CAGE: Rats. Guess I better go kill some people. (He DOES)

THE NERDY GUY FROM "SEINFELD": Hi. I'm a normal middle-aged man, but you expected a ravening monster! Bloo blarg! I fooled you! (Beats the audience to DEATH with heavy-handed SYMBOLISM) (Dies)

NICHOLAS CAGE: Now that I have killed every other character in this film, I guess it can end happily.

---

AT THE EARTH'S CORE

PETER CUSHING: David.

DOUG MCCLURE: Let's build a weird drill thing. I hope nothing goes horribly wrong!

(Something goes HORRIBLY WRONG)

PETER CUSHING: David? David!

DOUG MCCLURE: This place sucks. I better go kill some people. (He DOES)

PETER CUSHING: David! DAVID!

DOUG MCCLURE: Okay, I guess we should go.

ROMANITC INTEREST: I'm sorry, Doug McClure. Despite your rippling muscles and superior intellect, I won't go with you. I was only teasing when I said I would.

DOUG MCCLURE: Nuts.

PETER CUSHING: David?

(The DRILL THING pops out of the ground in front of the WHITE HOUSE)

GUARDS: ... ... ... Heck.

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